Life Lesson

There is a life lesson that has taken me too many years (decades) to figure out. Partly because I've spent the majority of my adult life renting apartments rather than owning a home. Partly because I've spent the majority of my adult life obliviously walking around, skirting responsibility and commitment. Partly because I'm a hammerhead.

Having something beautiful is a luxury, a delight.

Maintaining something beautiful is work.

This applies to many things.

A home. The picture below is the entryway of a mansion in Galveston. It was built in the early 20th century, and it is gorgeous. Hand-carved wood all over. But, it takes a team of employees and volunteers - along with large grants - to keep it up.

The Bishop's Palace - Galveston, Tx

Or a patio with flowers. Flowers have to be watered regularly, and weeds will grow through the bricks unless we are vigilant.

Cat's Paradise

Jewelry - Silver will tarnish and must be polished.

Pendant - Silver, 18K and Opal by Barry Perez

Talent - musical, artistic or any other talent you may have developed - requires continued practice, or you will lose the skill, the edge, the ease and the beauty with which you perform.

The Talented Jorge & Nicole

Friendships and relationships

Courtesy of Pexels 

Courtesy of Pexels

I was walking home this afternoon from brunch - just before it began to rain. I passed a beautiful house, a house that I would have loved to live in. It occurred to me that the bigger the home, the more there is to maintain because there's that much more to break down. A few years ago I wouldn't have considered that. I have moved in with my partner – the same one who, without my having to call, came to pick me up when it began to rain – and I have begun to learn what it means to truly be responsible for something and its maintenance. The old house we live in has a leak in the roof and it's entirely up to us to fix it. There is no office to call to come take care of it. And, we either mow the lawn or it becomes a forest, regardless of how much I'd prefer to be laying around reading. I could leave when I got angry, or I could finally figure out what it takes to make a relationship work. I have a lifetime of leaving that has become a habit, a way of life. I am having to learn a new way of life.

The lesson hasn't been easy or without tears. But, I have grown so much in the last few years that I almost don't recognize myself. Has it been worth it? As far as I'm concerned, yes. (You'd have to ask my partner for his perspective.) I have a long way to go, but I am so glad I have begun.

Thank you for reading.

Studio Cats

I look out my bedroom window at Barry's jewelry studio, and I can tell that he is busy making his art. It's not that there is smoke coming from a chimney – there is no chimney and no smoke in his art. (Not much, anyway. Vapors from the pickling solution, but not real smoke.) 

The black and white cat on the step – his name is Tom Cat. He more or less adopted us last year. I thought he was feral and we decided to have him fixed when Emancipet was in town with their Mobile Clinic. On the day scheduled we hadn't trapped him, so I thought I might be able to catch him or lure him into the carrier with food. As it turns out, all I had to do was bend down, pet him on the head and pick him up. This cat was not feral. Clearly he used to belong to somebody, but whoever that is he clearly has chosen not to be there any more. Who am I to judge that relationship? 

After the operation, and after the healing time, I let him out of the carrier. We have ferals neutered and spayed regularly with the trap-and-release program through the local SPCA. Once we release, they usually stay away for a day or two before returning to where they know there is food to be found. Not Tom Cat. I can't say he was thrilled, but he strutted around and rubbed against my leg. He had made up his mind where his home was and a small thing like this wasn't going to change it.

Originally, I tried to feed him on the other side of the property to keep from having fights with the cats in our yard. But, Barry moved him into the yard when it got cold and he needed a warm place to be. Our house is pier and beam and cats keep warm under it, plus we (Barry) put out insulated boxes for him and another stray who has planted himself here. 

I don't want to say that Tom Cat like either one of us better than the other, but when Barry is working in the jewelry studio, Tom Cat is waiting against the door for him. When Barry is working in the tile studio, Tom Cat is waiting against that door for him. I think he instinctively knows which one of us is the bigger push-over.